Let’s apply the Case Law Memory Formula to the the top 13 most important criminal law cases released by Illinois Supreme Court in 2017. Episode 526 (Duration 28:07)
2017 Top 13 Illinois Criminal Law Cases Released By The Illinois Supreme Court
Here’s a quick snapshot of the top cases:
1. People v. Holmes – July
Police can stop you if they see a gun. “Hey, Homes why you taking my firecracker gun?”
2. People v. Brooks – November
After a motorbike accident, Defendant is taken to the hospital kicking and screaming literally against his will and his blood is drawn. PictureM Mel Brooks dressed as an Indian like in Blazing Saddles kicking and screaming in the ambulance and the hospital.
3. People v. Way – April
Lady veers into oncoming traffic and injures another driver. She goes the Wrong WAY while all taoked up on weed; Court says she should have been allowed to call her doctor then say, “April’s Fool.”
4. People v. Hardman – November
Knowledgeable cop can testify that a building is a school. Picture the opening scene of a movie: arial view of a building with a Concrete Statute (a hard man) of Squanto holding an ear of corn like a pen.
5. People v. Fort – February
State must charge second degree murder if they want to continue with adult sentencing after they lose a first degree murder count. The Rambo of groundhogs digs under a military fort to get in. The gophers inside capture him and charge him with murder but he’s acquitted.
6. People v. Ayres – February
Mails a motion with the title “Ineffective Assistance” and says nothing else. Imagine a prisonor flying a kite through the bar widows, the kite has the words “ineffective assistance” written on it, and has paper hearts on the tail. The kite goes through the air (Ayres) and hits the judge right in the kisser.
7. People v. Shinaul – February
State is not allowed to reinstate charges after Defendant vacates an invalidated Aguilar AUUW conviction. Walk up to a prosecutor and kick him in the shins, they’ll scream “awe” – shin-awe. Then to calm him back down feed him a groundhog steak.
8. People v. Howard – March
Sex offender anti loitering statutes are constitutional, this dude was dropping someone off at a school. Howard Walowitz dresses in a gown to sneak across a school while carrying an easter egg in a basket. He gets caught and charged with being a sex offender.
9. People v. Pearse – March
Defendant is in the hospital and doesn’t register with the PD of the city the hospital is in. Picture defendant tussling with a crocodile over his purse where he keeps his shamrock shake.
10. People v. Sebby – June
Plain error first prong requires a closely balanced case. A chubby dad gets into a fight with his doctor who is putting his thumb on the scales and tipping the scales. The dad wants to fit into his new summer father’s day suit.
11. People v. Brown – November
Defendant plead guilty because he was told his sentence was a 50% case when in fact it was an 85% case. For thanksgiving dinner defendant takes a brown duky from his pants mixes it with the mash patatoes and throws it against the wall.
12. People v. Relerford – November
Just a small part of the Illinois stalking statute was declared unconstitutional. Worse marketing idea ever: for black friday release a flock of canaries carrying coupons announcing you have a Sale-on-Fords. You won’t sell anything but you’ll beat the stalking charge.
13. People v. Ringland – June
Prosecutors cannot designated officials with general policing power. The ringleader slapped lights on an SUV put sunglasses and short shorts on a retired detective and had him stopping cars looking for them kgs (kilos).